Last night, John began a discussion a topic those our age are having to deal with now. He asked the question, "Why do I keep getting the feeling that those younger than us feel we're not acting our age?", and I totally understood. We are in the 55-65 age bracket. That's what the world sees. That's what our bodies portray. That's the 'outside of the book'. Just as the covers of a book ages with time, the story, the plot, the delight in reading a good tale, stays the same.
We don't feel the way our bodies appear to others. Within our hearts, our souls, we feel so much younger. Personally, I've never left my late twenties or early thirties. The forties were awesome but that's when the mirror began showing a different woman than the one within. That's when we began getting second looks for laughing out loud or 'not acting' our age. We are acting our age, the one we feel inside. The one we'll always be. Just because the body ages, the mind and the will to live fully never ages.
I am guilty of thinking my mother acted like one of the grandchildren at times. I am guilty of wondering why in the world some 'old' lady would wear what she did, couldn't they act/dress their age? It wasn't until I began getting some of the same spoken thoughts, some of the same glances, did I realize I had reached 'that age'. And let me just say here that I really, really dislike disrespectful cashiers that talk down to me and treat me as if I have no sense whatsoever. That being said, our decaying bodies will never stop the love of being young. I will act a complete fool just to make a grandbaby laugh. I am totally smitten with them and our daughters will tell you that. Childen don't care how silly you act, they love it. They haven't set parameters of how an adult should act.
Seriously, I pass a mirror and wonder who that woman is. I do not dislike my body shape. It's definitely not the one I used to have. I cannot eat as I once did and look as I once did. Within my heart of hearts, I feel so much younger than the woman in the mirror. I feel as if I could do cartwheels with my daughter again, do a high cheerleader jump, and rollerskate without breaking something. I have to be careful with this body I have now, but that doesn't stop me from trying to get as close as I can to the woman within. Am I acting my age? You betcha. It's a chore breaking lose from the restrictions and the restraints the world wants to put on us, but the next time you see an 'older' person acting like they think they're 29 again, they really are. They're acting their age. The one inside. Just like a good book, the covers ages, the story never grows old.