25 Reasons I Owe My Mother ~

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that comes out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I will knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep crying. I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"This room looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have parents like you."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING:
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me ESP:
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My mother taught me HUMOR:
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me GENETICS:
"You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about my ROOTS:
"Shut that door! Were you born in a barn?"

My mother taught me WISDOM:
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my fav-o-rite~

My mother taught me about JUSTICE:
"One day you'll have kids, and they'll be twice as bad as you."