A Gift From God ~ Dr. William Hayes

Wow. What a gift tonight. About to close out of FB and it showed a list of people I may know. The first one - a man - not just any man, Dr. William Hayes, whose hands and expertise worked with God to save my life during a 77 day stay in St. Vincent's ICU, during the Spring of 2006. A 77 day stay in ICU. John brought me home on our 23rd Anniversary. We'll joyously celebrate 31 this coming July 1st.

Our life now is timed by BA and AA - before and after accident. PTSD and some neurological issues play havoc with my speech and thought process but I grow stronger each year. I've had to deal with discovering and liking the 'new normal' our lives became. A very supportive network of prayer warriors, family and dear friends have been instrumental in helping me find me. It took almost two years to really recover and there's still times I struggle with words and headaches from the trauma. BUT I'm alive!  Happy. Loved. Nan to six precious grandbabies. Much closer to my Lord and living sharing my testimony of being given a brief glimpse of Paradise before the ER Dr made it to the outpatient procedure room and resucitated me. Unforgettable.

If you're ever in need of a great pulmonary group, we highly recommend Dr. Hayes group. He's a man of God and gifted in his field.

Thank you, Dr. Hayes, from the bottom of our hearts. We've thanked God for you on a daily basis for over eight years now.

"I Don't Believe You Were There"

"With man, this is impossible,

but not with God.

All things are possible with God."

~ Mark 10:27 (NIV)

It's been seven years since April 21, 2006 and there have been some dark places I've gone through to get to where I am today. Places I am ashamed of, but forgiven. Places that had I been stronger, would not have done. This is what I need to write, to exorcise and release in hopes of saving another from the road I chose.

I don't remember much of the rest of 2006, nor the following year, 2007. Those were times of learning to walk again, to take care of myself without help. John remembers them. Nelson and our daughters remember. I'm blessed that I don't.

This post is not about what sent me to the Garden, but rather what has taken place since. I know others prayed for me, suffered through it, and I am grateful.

And so, it begins ~

It didn't feel good not to be able to teach again. I lost a large part of who I was. Not teach?! Not ever again?! NO!

It didn't feel good to to sell our home. Because I couldn't drive anymore, nor did we need the payment, we had already sold my Murano. One of my favorite vehicles. But we, like so many others, spent what we made. Had we held on just another year and a half, we could have kept the home, but it would have always been a struggle. And God had other plans.

The house sold quickly (a great blessing) and we prepared to downsize. A stranger came into our life, sent by God, to help us in areas others couldn't. She found us a beautiful home on the east side of town, and we settled into a wonderful apartment. I should have thrived. I didn't. Leaving a job I loved still hurt deeply. I felt lost. Useless.

Later that year, I had the chance to substitute at a local elementary school and was thrilled! Then terrified. Being led into the classroom, the door closing behind me, I suddenly lost touch with reality and John was called. The words 'psychotic break' was mentioned. (Dr. Mary Neal talks of this in her book, To Heaven and Back. The feeling of wondering if 'this' is a dream or if you're actually back on earth.) An amazing network of family and medical support got me through, but it had serious side effects. I became addicted to prescription pain drugs and began a descent into depression.

Were there reasons to be happy? Of course! We had grandchildren to love. Three lived within twenty minutes of us. But I felt incapable of keeping them. One daughter and her husband even voiced this to us, reducing me to a sobbing mess, but they were right. My adored husband? He loved me, but hated seeing me sad and hurting, so he allowed me to sleep as much as I wanted. He became an enabler and I became a recluse, going into deeper hibernation, my soul crying, 'why did You send me back?!' We rocked on.

2011 began with laughter. A family vacation to the Smokey's and plans for another family vacation in May! This one at Disney World. The year held great promises. John and I took a trip to the Gulf coast in April to visit a friend, and it was then, he says, that he realized a change had to take place. The blessed Holy Spirit whispered to him that he needed to move us south, to a place where there were other retirees, but no one knew us. So much to do, a variety of places to eat, and to top it off, the fresh air off the Gulf of Mexico. We bought a home there the next month.

Now, not only was I in the throes of withdrawal from the prescription drug addiction, but there was the pain of leaving the only child I gave birth to, the sadness of leaving the only family member still talking to me, realizing we were leaving three grandchildren, and saying goodbye to friends of my heart. Sobbing became a daily occurrence. Looking for answers, for peace. Did I ever stop praying? No. Never. I just wondered why He allowed me to return when I couldn't find a reason or a purpose to be alive. I needed to feel needed.

It was a year of major life changing moments. I'm surprised we both survived. But God is so amazingly good and He had plans for both of us. Plans for healing. Plans for new friends, new experiences and the chance to just be us. Not 'victims of a horrid medical accident'.

By Spring of 2012, health issues dating back to the accident surfaced and coupled with a compromised immune system, I was not only sick physically but sick at heart. I prayed. Praying in earnest. Did I feel as if He was listening? I did. Was I listening to Him? No. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I just wanted to sleep until I 'felt all better'. Talk about being a modern day Jonah!

But there are times when you have to listen. When He makes it impossible to ignore Him. We are blessed with three Godly daughters and they love us very much. Enough to show tough love and we needed it. I needed it. I will forever be grateful to them and love them even more for it.

A Godly physician corrected a serious kidney problem that kept me sick the Spring of 2012. Beginning in 2013, a dear friend told me of an easy way to still eat some carbs but eat healthier (Metabolism Miracle). And through a daughter, we learned of a natural way (thank you, doTerra Essential oils!) to cleanse the physical body. Spiritually, I became a very present part of a bible study with two wise ladies that taught me of a God I never knew. God's Spirit, the Holy Spirit. I began spiritually preparing my heart to do His Will. The healthier I became, the clearer I heard Him. I realized I had been sent back to share what I learned. Sent back to assure the hungry that yes, there IS a God. He DOES forgive and He doesn't want any of His children to choose an eternity away from Him. Away from Heaven. But there IS a Hell and we do have free will. We can choose to follow a Father that loves us deeply or live without Him and spend an eternity in torment wishing our choice had been different.

There are still friends that find it difficult to believe I was in one of His gardens. Telling me it was a dream, much like the nightmares that took place when my body was weaned off paralytic drugs. These questions are valid and easy to answer. NO. It was not a dream. The world is hearing of an increasing number of incidents of near death experiences. Word is being spread of what they witnessed. And that they, too, were sent back to share. Why are certain ones chosen? I don't know. I don't care. I only know we were sent back to encourage, to reach out to the lost, to reassure the believers, and to witness for our Father.

My journey to wholeness has been a long, difficult one. I'm thankful that John listened to Holy Spirit and made the difficult decision to move us. It's been a time of healing, of letting go and grabbing hold. It's been a blessing. But then, when we allow Him to lead us, we are blessed beyond measure. "For I know the plans I have for you, 'declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

I encourage you to read 'Heaven is Real' by Todd Burpo and 'To Heaven and Back' by Dr. Mary C. Neal. Don Piper speaks more of what is after death in his book '90 Minutes in Heaven'. These have encouraged and inspired me.

And always, God's Word. The Bible. His Word is filled with accounts of what we can expect, what He will give us, teach us, and wants for us. He is our Father, our Lord, our King and I will live the rest of my life living a life for Him and talking of what awaits us. I, for one, cannot wait to see the rest of what He has prepared.

I believe His promises to be true. I believe Heaven is real. I also believe He has a plan for me and that He will help, and even carry me, when needed.

"Be still,

And know that I am God."

~ Psalm 4:10 (NKJV)

I am not perfect, but I'm forgiven. I know He loves me. I am excited about today. About tomorrow. I have a God that has given me a second chance. I will spend the rest of my life on earth going where He leads and listening to everything He has to say, even when like Jonah, saying no would be easier. "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" ~ Isaiah 6:8

Babies & Angels

Babies can see angels. I'm sure of that. Why do I think so? Their eyes don't have the scales of the World put upon them yet. I long for the day when the scales from my eyes fall away and I can see what our little ones do while they still can. Watch a young child take delight in the tiniest flower or engage in a conversation and there's no one that you can see. Yes, I believe in angels and I believe they absolutely love the little ones.

Matthew wrote in chapter 18, verse 10, "See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven." (By the way, I thought this was a well written article concerning guardian angels. I don't feel we are assigned one, but I fully believe that they watch my Father's face and hasten to do His bidding when I call upon Him to send one quickly. I've had to do that before. With Jenny. It's her story and a great testimony. Here's the link I was reading this afternoon, Do We Have Guardian Angels?

Our newest grandbaby has a great great grandmother! How wonderful is this! Owen and Leslie and some of the family visited Mother Alice today. She's in an assisted living home and loves company. She is holding our precious Owen. He was three weeks old this past Tuesday. (Sigh) Not only is she holding her great great grandson but she is praying over him. And Leslie. I can only imagine the angels that were there and the love for our Lord and Savior that filled the room. What a blessing, ya'll!

When we saw this photo, John and I spoke of the beauty of having a Christian woman, that's lived a long life filled with life's tragedies and times of bliss, pray over our Leslie and her son. Words don't do justice with what our hearts felt, for we know how much we love Owen. I can only imagine the magnitude Mother Alice feels for the child she is holding. We are so very thankful our children, and their children, walk with the Father and are surrounded by like minded Christians.What a blessing!

Am I framing this? You beat your bippy. She's not related to me, other than being through a blended family but I've had the honor of spending a brief time with her during a visit with Stacey and her babies. She's a gracious woman that loves the Lord. I'm so glad I had the chance to meet her, knowing I'll get to know her better one day in Heaven.

This is what I immediately 'see' when I hear of a child dying or a mass murder such as we've seen all too much these last years. These little souls are with our Father before their earthly bodies are slain. Our precious Jesus took the sting of death with him on the cross. 1 Corinthians 15:55 "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"  My near death experience? No pain at all. And I've spoken with so many others that had an NDE or was sitting at the side of one that left this world before the shell ceased to function. So I know the satisfaction the murderers feel is empty. If they only knew. And my heart is so filled with thanksgiving that He took them before they felt any pain. I think of the angels that suffered with Jesus on the cruel cross, knowing they could not minister to Him until it was over. I know they are there to gather the little ones. For as I've found out, someone always comes. When it's our appointed time to leave this earthly body, this shell, someone always come to make it easier. You'll never go alone. As long as you're a child of God, you'll never be alone.

Thank you, Mother Alice, for being such an example to us. We should pray over not just our babies, and we do, but others. Friends bearing a heavy load. Strangers that we know are hurting. Asking someone, "May I pray for you" is easier the more you ask. I've never been turned down. To be prayed over, as I have, has always filled me with peace that doesn't come from any earthly being. It's straight from the heart of my Father. Thank you for allowing me to share this today. My heart was so full upon viewing this newest photo of Owen, I just had to come here and leave my thoughts. They don't have to be your thoughts, but I know He loves little children. And his angels watch his face ready to go quickly at his bidding. I think they get quite the joy out of these little people. Until another time, have a blessed day~

February Book Club, Dreamy Vignette, Winter Whites, and a Birthday Party!

A Little Loveliness with Melissa Lester

A beautiful Christian lady

with equally beautiful ideas.

If you haven't been to her site,

you're in for a true treat.

Oh, and Melissa, I've got this book

on my To Read List! Sharing with friends

that enjoy good reads as I do ~ 

Oh, oh, oh, I want this! All of it! Well, okay, so the picture won't look like this as I'll have to use one I have but I like this one! And I won't have the champagne bucket but I'm planning a trip to a local Goodwill store and our TJMaxx to find some pottery I can spray paint white and silver. I already have some mercury, so this weekend I hope to get this set up on a table behind our sofa. I love the tree and just bet The Hood will gather some branches for me and I plan to use scrapbook paper for the hearts with twine hearts. I may use blue and white to go with a winter theme I'm trying to stay with for awhile longer. Living on the coast has taught me to hold onto Winter just as long as one can! Where did I find this awesome photo?! At one of my favorite sites, diy Design Fanatic. You'll love what Pam can do to a home {smile font}.

320 Sycamore! I love your yarn balls!!! And you tell me they were on Target's Clearance! And not being with our youngest daughter the day after Christmas (when we always go to Target!) I didn't see them! Shoot, I'd paid full price for these three!. I'm thinking I just might go find some Styrofoam balls, spray adhesive, and some old sweaters that are too small.  The sleeves will make good boot toppers with my jeans and I'll make some yarn balls. Go see Melissa's other Winter Ideas and stick around to check out her site. You'll bookmark it just as I did a few years back!

I loved what Jenny put together for Noah's birthday this year. Camp Noah. He loved it! and she was thrilled to see the happiness in her baby boy's face. I loved the photos but you'll love the ideas should you have a little boy of your own. Or a big boy! Her oldest chose a spend the night party (I bet it would've been easier throwing a party {wink font}. That's Noah in front of the tent that was part of the play ground. Go to Project Maddox: Building a Blessed Busy Life. Camp Out Birthday Party Theme. Oh, my babies. Oh Father, do they have to mature and grow so quickly on us? I know you have such plans for them, but they are such ministering angels to me. Right now. And I'd like them to remain that way just a little while longer. Like a few more years? Then they can get back into the growth stage of growing up and heading out. We are so blessed. Number 6 is on his way. Do you read the thrill in my heart?!

This was Jenny's Flashback Friday photo and I have to admit there were teary eyes in this house tonight. Elle, maybe 4 months old. Noah, 3. The age Elle is now. Ian. Much shorter three years ago than he is now. I think Noah grabbed my heart the hardest. Simply because he looks so young and at that time he was still asking, "Nan, I hold you?", which translated to "Hold me, Nan". But I always have loved the way he phrased it. Now it's sweet history. Sniff.

What is this?! Who lives where there's still a Christmas tree?! Bookcases that aren't being used as bookcases. Ah yeah, it's me. In fact, the whole house is in a bit of disrepair. It's been chilly and we've been enjoying it, getting out and about along with sleeping late {yawn font}. But that ends tomorrow. The tree is about all that's left and it comes down in three pieces! I'll post what I do with this area, along with tablescapes and redecorating some of the bedrooms. Being retired, means doing as you can. There's no over time. But we're loving it and I wouldn't have it any other way. You really can do more with less. And oh how freeing.

So, until ~ pray for those on your heart, our nation and her leaders, and take some time to be good to yourself. Find a quiet place and listen for the whispers in your heart. He wants to 'be still'. Listen for him. He has something to tell you, I just bet. Have a God-filled weekend.

You'll Love These Blogs, Too ~

Melissa Lester always brightens my day with her posts. From crafts to celebration ideas, to reading her thoughts on our Lord, I am always uplifted after visiting A Little Loveliness. You will be, too. My favorite is when she discusses the books her club reads, and shares the recipes and decorations that accompany their gathering to discuss the book. She's a very talented woman. A very spiritual one that sees beauty in the smallest of things. Go visit, you'll be blessed ~

Freckled Laundry and Jamie ~ She shares her thoughts, her dreams, ideas and goals, not to mention a dreamy way of photography. The photo below is credited to another, but it shows a little of her artistic ability to put words with photos in a beautiful way.

I have introduced you before to The Feathered Nest.

Dawn is a lover of vintage lace, toys, babydolls, and items that stir the heartstrings of days gone by. She is also such a love in  that she gives you art to upload and use! I have ordered from her Etsy shoppe and still love the items. They never go out of style with me. But like her, I'm a girly girl and I love the softness of life. Visit her soon. Here's a favorite photo of mine that she's sharing today.

This blog is different than most of the ones I frequent. But I love it! Brooklyn Limestone ~

Mrs. Limestone has set her site up to easily find what you're looking for. I found this under her DIY tab. How cute is this?! She used a Halloween theme. I plan to use it for the four seasons. I have dinnerware for each of the major holidays, but how nice to have dinnerware to use those weeks in between.

Visit her limestone and see what you think. I think you'll be impressed.

Susie Harris. She was one of the first blogs I found when I began mine and I've been an avid follower ever since. She is talented, funny, compassionate, very artistic, and a Louisiana lovin' woman. I love her signs and the way she shares her daily life. The photo I've chosen to share from her blog today is a furry baby of hers. Susie takes you through the good and the bad times of her life, all the while letting you know that when it's all over, she'll thank you for being there for her. Go check out her site and stay long enough to see the signs I'm talking about! I'll include one for you! She will custom make you one as well!

Didn't I tell you? Simple but grabs those heart strings.

Early Morning Meditations. I wanted to share this site with you because I love our Lord and this man does, too. Raymond Elliott is a minister of the Gospel and I know without a doubt that you'll be moved and uplifted, comforted and loved, when you visit his blog. He has other writings as well, one is humorous hunting tales and another is memories of the college he attended in Montgomery, AL. Visit and be blessed.

Yes! This is me! I wanted to share with you a very special time in my life. In our life, for it affected all of those that know and love me. When we go back to Prattville, it's not uncommon for someone to tell me they prayed for our family and me as I lay 'sleeping' for 77 days. It was a journey that touched us all in a way that changed our lives and the way we live now. We are closer, we appreciate taking that first breath each morning, and we know with certainty what's ahead for those that love the Lord. I hope you'll take the time to visit and if you've had a similar experience I'd love to hear from you. I still like sharing mine.

Asleep ~ 77 Days It really happened. And someone always comes. His children never leave alone.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~

Note ~ I appreciate proper capitalization. Apparently, this font does not. I apologize for that. I do know better.

Someone Always Comes ~

In the movie, Passengers, one of the main characters says something to the effect, "Someone or something always comes to help you, to make it easier." And the movie comes together, and you realize what the plot is, what the message is.

I was expecting a suspenseful thriller; what I wasn't expecting was this feeling I am experiencing right now. At this moment. Nauseated, but thrilled. Wanting to slip back into those 'zones' I found comforting after the accident, and during recovery, yet almost afraid to go back there and remember.

John is sitting not four feet from me, yet my mind is wanting to take me worlds from here. And the thoughts crowding my mind, my memory, are coming too fast for my fingers to type. I want to capture what I am feeling. I want to know that there is someone out there that experienced what I experienced. I want to know that there are others like me, that crossed over and came back. I want to know I am not alone. I want to know, are we alive?

You have no idea. You have no idea how it feels to be there and then to be sent back. To come back and wonder if everything is real. Or is this still a dream? Is this bits and pieces of life as you knew it? To think that what I know as life now is only a fragment of what the movie The Matrix was based upon.

There are times my mind screams for validation that I am alive, that I did not remain dead that April day. It was such a beautiful day, my memories of our trip to Birmingham are so clear and bright. Turning to look at Johnny, thinking how handsome he was and how good life was.

Remembering seeing Tim Buck walk toward us with flowers and thinking that I barely knew him, that I had only gotten his daughter on my class roll, yet he cared enough to be there. To come as we waited for my name to be called. My name. It was called.

It was called and I walked through the door, following the nurse. Changing into a gown with that hideous opening in the back. Getting up onto the table, and telling her the IV didn't hurt as she apologized for the prick. Then telling her I wasn't feeling as sleepy as I knew I should, watching her as she brought another syringe up to the IV and touching my hair as I heard her say, "Nighty night, Mrs. Hood".

And I open my eyes. And I know, I am not alive. To know, I am dead. And there is someone on my right. Now I wish I had looked to see who, what was there. Was it someone I would have known? I don't think so. I can almost assure myself it was a heavenly being. A messenger.

"Someone comes to make it easier, to help us find our way." Who was there for me?

John is sitting over there talking and talking and I get the feeling he is trying to include me in his day. All I want to do at this moment, at this time, is get lost in what happened then. And I wish Greg was here for me to talk to, to share with.

I can't share with John. Not like I can with Greg. Greg. Such a blessing in the form of a Christian counselor. Trained in helping those of us with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD. A fancy name for the mind not being able to handle what was, what might have been, and what actually is.

John doesn't like to remember that time. It hurts him to hear my pain, my fears, my questions. Basically, I keep them to myself. But I have to tell you, there are still times, even after three years, that I wonder if this is all real. If I am existing on a separate plane in life from reality.

Why does talking of death make so many people uncomfortable? I love telling what I saw, what I felt, what I know is there. I have read since the accident, when looking for answers, that severe traumatic experiences heighten one's sensitivity to life. Extrasensory perception. Maybe it just heightens us to what is already in front of us, what is just waiting to be felt, to be known. If we would just take the time to be a child again and notice.

I know this. Life is far shorter than we realize. He tells us it is but a vapor. It is no more than the breeze on your face. And there are those around, angels if you will, that are ever present. Right now they are having a difficult time comforting me because I have wrapped myself in the memories of that time in order to capture what I am feeling. Because I want to remember. There are things I want to remember, that I still feel my mind is shutting out. What is still there to recall?

Why the need to write this down? Why did I grab the laptop as soon as the movie was over? I would like to think that there is someone that will read this and not be afraid to leave me a comment. Or leave an email. Saying they have been there. They saw what I saw, and they are still dealing with living today and having the memories of the event that took them to Paradise.

I have learned many things since that April day ~ a few major ones would be that even death cannot heal family issues when lies still prevail; our nightmares are just that, nightmares, and life has its equal moments of light and happiness; and that we do not cross over alone. There is someone, something that comes to make the way easier.

Watch for His angels. Watch for those things you can't explain. Look into the eyes of those you pass. I promise you, when they look at you and smile, you'll know when you've been in the presence of angels. And yes, they can look just as human as you and me. Sometimes my whole being overflows with things I feel the need to say, to share, but then I realize it's a bit overwhelming. A bit to much for some, for most, to comprehend and understand.

I can tell when you are uncomfortable when I speak of these things. You begin to fidget, to glance away. You reach out with your hand to shush me, to quiet me. You tell me you're sorry. It's like trying to quell a bubbling brook.

I'm afraid to scroll back through this and see how long it is. What I have typed. What I have shared. I want to hit the 'publish' button and have this out there. For all to read. And just maybe, someone will be there. Someone like me, that feels as if you have a foot in both worlds. What is, and what will be. Just maybe, there's someone.

Are you out there?

In the last two weeks I've been asked two separate times

if I had ever seen an angel and/or if I felt their presence ~

the answer was easy, I have ~ to both.

And I'd love to share this with you soon.

And if you have, I would love to hear from you, too.

But it's been a busy, long week and I'm tired tonight.

We will be arising at 4 am to take my brother and his wife

to the airport, as they plan to travel to Arizona

to see their new grandaughter! So ~

I shall tell you of my encounters with angels

a bit later this weekend, and just maybe

Jenny will share with us her memories on this.